Hello, world

9:03am: [name has been changed at the request of the hilarious]

me: [trying to suffocate my prey by lying on top of him] i've lost some weight.
anonymous lover: well, it looks like you've found it again.

2:46pm: mmm whatcha say?
update:
-my rich jewish relatives are going to pay for me to study theater in london. IIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK
-i won the phi kappa phi outstanding sophomore award...i'm getting $500.
-i'm the new editor of the miscellany and the new managing editor of the reflector.
-chevy's getting the hell out of statesboro, too
-i am v v happy
-BUT, there is one person i wish i could share all this with who i can't anymore:



my mentor and theater professor (and director of the last play i was in, the automata pieta) died of metastatic melanoma.

so...if you tan...don't. cancer is truly one of the most horrible diseases.

but stephanie taught me to "make [my] own life." and that's what i'm beginning to do.

11:56pm: who misses cryptic lj entries???
 last night i was so happy, but of course it was but a dream.

and now i just feel itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy.

i want to get out of here.

i just want to be by myself for a day, somewhere, ANYWHERE, even if it's in metter or somewhere.

but i can't. i can't. oh, god. i can't escape.

there. melodrama.

11:41am: The Automata Pieta
A play that will make you laugh, cry...and laugh and cry some more. Set in Arizona, it opens with the voices of a fed-up mother and two young sisters. The sisters (Jennifer and Shambhala) are arguing over their "Bambi" doll (think Barbie here, folks) and the mom finally throws the doll out the car window. Bambi (that's right...Klie is a blowup doll...sexxxy) then gets toxic waste dumped on her by Norris, a guy that's hurrying to get to a hotel to lose his virginity, and Dean, his friend. Bambi comes to life and spends the rest of the play searching for her "mommies," the two sisters. She meets a young Navajo man named Elvis who tries to help her out and is later arrested by the policewoman, Maggie (that's right...Melanie with handcuffs, sexxxxxy), for the supposed disappearance of Bambi.

The sisters, meanwhile, get abandoned in a hotel by their mom. They're found by Maggie and separated. Jennifer is sent to a Catholic school (that's right -- Anna's gonna be in a Catholic school girl outfit....sexxxxxxxxxy) while Shambhala runs away and becomes an exotic dancer (that's right -- Sharla in a G-string...sexxxxxxxxxxy).
Jennifer's only friend is the radio pirate, bootylicious Vortexia (that's right -- Latoya eats a Milky Way nice and slow...sexxxxxxxy), a "pioneer in the fight for women's freedom to eat without guilt and to accept their bodies the way they are." The character Time orchestrates all this and has quite a lot to rant about.

Contact Info
Email:
georgiakisses2@yahoo.com or agiles12@georgiasouthern.edu
Phone:
(912) 587-3763 or (912) 687-3423 for Anna
City:
Statesboro, GA

When: February 28, 2007 - March 3 (Wednesday - Saturday)

Where: at the Performing Arts Center (PAC).

Ticket prices: $4 for Students with GSU ID, $8 for faculty staff and senior citizens, and $12 general admission.

Time: 7:30 p.m.

Our fearless director is Stephanie Routman and she told us to use the fact that she has cancer to get people to come, so...our director has cancer and this play is very important to her so come, damnit!

look it up on facebook: The Automata Pieta.

1:38pm: i studied for my french test for 10 hours. and in the end, it wasn't as difficult as i thought it would be. that's the way with everything, isn't it?

anna nicole smith died. which makes me sad and everyone else sad, too because even though when she was alive she was dead (yes, stupid. i can speak ill of the dead if i want to)...

wow. i didn't even realize i typed "dead" instead of "stupid." and dead sounds so much better.

and i've lost my train of thought.

and i keep going wider without getting deeper.
i take things at face value, even if they're two-faced.
and i wonder, what would happen if i just stopped caring? if i didn't see a God anymore in this world?

god, i don't WANT to be dead even when i was alive. i don't WANT to be.
am i headed for the same brick wall?

and i think horrible thoughts. like, oh this is happening to her and not to me, thank God. i don't want it to happen to her.
i don't want it to happen to anyone.
you've got to believe me.

2:41pm: today, on a gsu bus, i got to sit next to a girl that smelled like a giant cigarette and a guy stood over me with his arm raised. he was sweating out the alcohol he apparently consumed last night.

you stay classy, georgia southern.

10:41pm: we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door

don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time

so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free

don't leave me here
now that you're back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time

we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky

3:10pm: i typed in my name on google images and this was the first picture that came up:



next weekend at blockbuster is my last weekend. i'll be starting at belk next week, where i'm going to make tons of monies. AND...i'm working in the lingerie department. that's what i meant about FITTING.

scene: halloween dinner with my parents

me: mom...dad...i have something to tell you...i'm pregnant. BOO, JUST KIDDING I SCARED YOU HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
mom: oh, anna, i know you couldn't be pregnant. you're on birth control.

so it's not because of my good character or anything.

6:57pm: it's halloween it's halloween it's halloween it's halloween it's hal-lo-weeeeeeeeen
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

and prepare yourselves for another one of anna's famous (or infamous, take your pick) LOOOOOOONG journal entries that somewhat try to sum up what she's been doing lately (NOTHINGGGGGGGGGG now that "arsenic" is over) in a slightly humorous way (but only very, very slightly). and heeeeeeeeeeeere we goooooooo!:

uno. uno acidente (only true pablo lovers will understand my numbering system. esther, chevy...hennhh? hehuhhh?)

"arsenic." it's over. thank God. i have time now. i won't be getting any more flowers, compliments on my mad acting skillz, rehearsal time with awesome people + 2 of my favorite people, jamie and brandon, or yummy/fun dinners at holiday's. oh, wait...yes, i'm sad. it's a strange combination of reliefthatitsovericanstudymorenowseechevyandmyfriendsmoreworkmore and ohcrapitsoverimissitimisseveryoneandjamieandbrandonespeciallyandtheapplauseandflowersandeventhegodawfuloilbasedmakeupthatshorribleforyourskinbutmakesyoulookbeautiful. anytime i get frustrated with acting or writing for that matter, so frustrated that i feel like akeelah ("it's just too hard, mama"), something always happens and i remember why i love it. i can't imagine anyone not loving it, that's how much i love it. like, how can people love economics? let's just forget for a minute that it is the most boring subject in the world that i will never again use. how can some people LOVE, i mean, REALLY LOVE economics but not love acting and writing and reading and watching plays? the latter are just the BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD to me. really. there's nothing else i enjoy more. and yes, i have other interests outside writing and acting (like fashion...chevy, if you are reading this, which you are probably not...are you laughing?) but those are my passions. nothing else. i know the following is going to sound melodramatic but just put it down to the fact that i'm an amateur: i don't even know if i would want to live without my passions. without books, the stage, plays, movies, a pen, paper, a computer? forgetabboit (or...you know, whatever).

dos! dos acidente!

my 2-year anniversary is coming up on thursday, nov. 2. who would've thought someone would be able to put up with me for 2 years? and not just PUT UP WITH ME, but see my skank ass just about everyday. and least of all chevy...CHEVY MORRIS. CHEV-VEE. think about chevy...and then think about me. do you think he would be able to tolerate me? yeah. me neither.

nonetheless, i am happy. so happy in fact, that i listen to bad love songs quite frequently and blame my being in love with chevy on it.

tres! tres acidente

i am watching bad movies tonight because i am done with schoolwork for like, 2 weeks i think. and i'm eating candy and getting fat. and tomorrow, I SWEAR I AM WORKING OUT.

quatro! quatro acidente!

...i'll tell you later. but it is oh-so-fitting (no pun intended).

cinco! cinco acidente!

i bought chanel earrings. and i love them, so there.


ooerm...OH and i was watching the news last night when they showed hanner gym...and a sororstitute was holding up a sign that said, "kappa delta loves president bush." and i was all like...that SO does not make bush look good. and my dad was sitting there when i said it and he was all like...omigod, i know.

jason (who played officer o'hara, the playwright wannabe cop in "arsenic") said the best thing ever last wednesday, on a dress rehearsal night:

me: we're going on 20 minutes late.
jason: if it's good enough for the stones, it's good enough for us.


p.s. reese witherspoon and ryan philippee broke up. that kills me.

3:16pm: LAST DAY TO SEE ARSENIC FOR FREE
today, averitt art center, 7:30 p.m.

2:03pm: statesboro high day
on campus today, i saw kat walking. 5 seconds later, i pass pung. and i think, "wow, it would be funny if i saw another person from statesboro high right now." and then i see megan. and then i saw some ducks sleeping under a tree.

coincidence?!?!?

11:45am: ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
come tonight (wed.) and tomorrow (thurs.) @ 7:30 for a free show. everyone is welcome! it's at the averitt art center in downtown statesboro next to the courthouse. we need bodies in the audience, please come!

once again, all arsenic info (behind the cut)

( Read more... )

8:56pm: news, news
i'm in the it bldg at the moment. it's freezing, chevy's sitting across the room from me so he can't see all the secret things i'm doing (i.e., looking at his presents and porn).

i will get in shape after the play is over. i will get in shape after the play is over.

oh, and here is play info:

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE:

Group Info Name: Arsenic and Old Lace
Type: Entertainment & Arts - Theater
Description: The perfect play for October -- set on Halloween, the weekend BEFORE Halloween!:

"This hilarious dark comedy written by Joseph Kesselring centers on two sisters who are famous for their acts of charity. Unfortunately, their charity includes poisoning lonely men who come to their home looking for a place to stay." All of the characters have an element of crazy: Mortimer, the "sane" nephew of the aunts who is trying to cover up their "charity" work; Mortimer's brother, who thinks he is Teddy Roosevelt; and Mortimer's other brother Jonathan, an insane serial killer who looks like Boris Karloff! These are but a few of the many delightful characters (the most delightful being Elaine Harper, Mortimer's fiancee, played by none other than Anna Giles). This is a really amazing, funny production (made into a movie starring Carey Grant. But don't watch the movie, come see the play). Please come and support!
Contact Info Email: georgiakisses2@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.averittcenterforthearts.org/events/performance.php?type=stars&id=50
Office: Box Office - contact between hours of 10 a.m. & 4 p.m. M-F
Street: East Main St.
City: downtown Statesboro, GA

Recent Newsedit
Performance schedule:

Friday October 27, 2006 at 7:30pm | Saturday October 28, 2006 at 7:30pm | Sunday October 29, 2006 at 2:00pm
@ the Emma Kelly Theater in downtown Statesboro (across from the Blue Moon Cafe and next to the courthouse).

Ticket prices: $8 for students
$10 for adults

ATENCION!: We will be doing free performances Monday, Oct. 23, Tues, Oct. 24, Wednesday, October 25 and Thursday, October 26 for GSU students (although I'm sure you won't be turned away if you are an adult, child, or still in high school). THAT'S RIGHT -- FREE. So you really have no excuse not to come. THE SHOW STARTS AT 7:30 P.M. Plus, I know some classes are offering extra credit if you go see a play this semester and (maybe) write a review on it. Talk to your professors (and tell them to come as well)!

CALL: (912) 212-ARTS for tickets, or contact me (Anna Giles) through this group or the e-mail address I have listed

facebook url:
http://georgiasouthern.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2214763318&ref=mf

or type in the search box, "Arsenic and Old Lace" (both jamie, my director, and i have created groups)

9:48pm: excuse me while i kiss the sky
scene: blockbuster
our players: anna and an unattractive white-trash guy

white-trash: [to me] hey, can i have your autograph?
me: uhhh...why?
WT: because you're famous.
me: no i'm not [thinks: HOW DOES HE KNOW I'M GOING TO BE A MOVIE STAR??].
WT: yes you are.
me: no, i'm not.
WT: do you want my uncle's autograph? he was in happy gilmore. he was the guy that got hit in the foot with the golf ball.
me: uhhh...i don't remember, i haven't seen the movie in forever. but sure, you can give me his autograph. the only thing is, you're here, not him.
WT: [looks confused]...can i have your autograph?
me: [it finally dawns on me] my boyfriend doesn't like me giving out my autograph.
WT: [face falls]

i got hit on WITH A LINE. this has pretty much made my month.

i'm gettin' mah nails did tomorrow. which i have never done. soooooooooo exciting.

american dreamz isn't as funny as it could be; the break-up is a good chick flick.

i have a story coming out for october's reflector. it's about revision, the gender-related club on campus. read it.

i'm going to be a sorority girl for halloween. i'm going to get a red plastic cup and write all the letters of the greek alphabet on it, find a sorority shirt from goodwill, wear my jeans rolled up and loafers, lots of makeup, and pearls. and i'm going to be in character, i.e., acting stupid, whore-like, and drunk

9:49am: last night when i was driving downtown, i felt removed, like i was just a visitor and just passing through. i've already begun to feel this disconnect with this place and it was a wonderful if apathetic feeling. i already feel like i'm gone.

1:27am: BANNED BOOKS WEEK

Join us in reading a banned book between September 23rd and 30th!

Courtesy of the ALA Banned Books site, the past year's most often challenged books, are
* “It's Perfectly Normal” for homosexuality, nudity, sex education, religious viewpoint, abortion and being unsuited to age group;
* “Forever” by Judy Blume for sexual content and offensive language;
* “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger for sexual content, offensive language and being unsuited to age group;
* “The Chocolate War” by Robert Cormier for sexual content and offensive language;
* “Whale Talk” by Chris Crutcher for racism and offensive language;
* “Detour for Emmy” by Marilyn Reynolds for sexual content;
* “What My Mother Doesn't Know” by Sonya Sones for sexual content and being unsuited to age group;
* Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey for anti-family content, being unsuited to age group and violence;
* “Crazy Lady!” by Jane Leslie Conly for offensive language; and
* “It's So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families” by Robie H. Harris for sex education and sexual content.

And the ten most often challenged authors are
*
Judy Blume, author of Blubber, Forever, and Deenie
*
Robert Cormier, author of The Chocolate War and We All Fall Down
*
Chris Crutcher, author of Whale Talk and The Sledding Hill
*
Robie Harris, author of It's Perfectly Normal and It's So Amazing!
*
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, author of the Alice series
*
Toni Morrison, author of The Bluest Eye, Beloved and Song of Solomon
*
J. D. Sallinger, author of The Catcher in the Rye
*
Lois Lowry, author of The Giver
*
Marilyn Reynolds, author of Detour for Emmy
*
Sonya Sones, author of What My Mother Doesn’t Know

Have you read any of these? And what's your favorite banned book?



the hypocrisy of these lists always makes me shake my head.

12:49pm: i miss your purple hair
i've gotten my first bad dye job ever! tres exciting, no? i look like this:




i'm getting it fixed and probably will blow most of my paycheck doing so.

5:08pm: oh, and p.s.
i'm the coolest girlfriend ever. so if i'm ever back on the market, you're gonna wanna date me BECAUSE I AM SO COOL.

3:45pm: is it gorgeous out today, or what?

5:54pm: you know how in those movies a character will be late for work or having a bad day, and they'll step out of a car right into a big puddle and gets one side of their pants drenched up to the calf? yeah, that's what happened to me today.

today in poli sci [i'm paraphrasing this for the most part]:

teacher: [lecturing on the link between hollywood and politics] conservatives often use hollywood to attract other conservatives by saying that hollywood is filled with debauchery and violence and that it's wrong and terrible.
stupid student: well, i think movies always bash conservatives [there is a point in this, i'm sure some movies do]
teacher: that's a good point. can you think of an example:

[silence. crickets....more silence]

girl: farenheit 9/11.
other stupid students: yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.
teacher: well...that's not exactly the kind of movie i was talking about, that's more of a biased documentary

another stupid student: "v for vendetta" made fun of the bush administration.
me: what?!?!

and then i said that "v" did NOT make fun of bush. if you remember/have seen the movie, one of the dictator's henchmen used God a lot in his horrible speeches to england (yeah...ENGLAND...'cause that's where we obviously live) to justify the way the government ruled and said things like, "i'm a christian and goddamn proud of it!" but it had absolutely no reference to the bush administration at all.

of course, i didn't say that as well as i could've. i probably just sounded like a pissed christian-hatin' non-God-fearin' LIBERAL, which is in all ways false.

i don't know, maybe "v" DID have some anti-bush propaganda thrown in there. maybe you were deeply offended by the mysterious and aloof anti-bush themes in the movie if there were any, or felt justified by the anti-bush themes in the movie, if there were any, or maybe you wish there were anti-bush themes in it and THERE AREN'T, or maybe, like me, you think it was JUST A MOVIE, not everything is about loving or hating the bush administration, and you took away from it re-affirmed or challenged political beliefs and that left you better off (or worse off, you tell me).


soooo, to sum it all up in a completely judging, un-christian like way: i hate stupid rednecks. i.e., the people in my political science class.

9:14am: hey! remember when we all used to do those cool journal quiz things?

What do you subconsciously think of your friends?
Friend's Name	Word Association	Meaning
Chevy	Bat	Mysterious, Intelligent, Enigma. This person is hugely alluring to you.
Esther	Bell	Someone whom you feel may be dangerous to let into your heart.
Malia	Pearl	Beautiful and real - you have a lot of respect for this person.
Heidi	Lantern	The person who sees you for you.
Megan	Wig	You believe this person to be totally insane. (And they SO are!)
Josh	Zoo	The least socially-conventional person that you know. (And, consequently, the most fun.)
'What do you subconsciously think of your friends?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center">You have a 73% chance of surviving a T-Rex Attack



You have an above average chance of surviving a T-Rex attack. You are able to recognize what the real dangers are as opposed to the imaginary ones. Go team!

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>



"whatever happened to the dino-saurs? i miss them. let's bring them back."

12:14pm: US (Statesboro edition) weekly
The Scene:

Anna Giles and Megan Shumate at Oglethorpe Mall and Savannah Mall in Savannah, GA. The best friends ate Chinese and Subway, hit stores like Victoria's Secret, Wet Seal, and Charolette Ruse. Shumate walked away with close to probably like $1,000 worth of crap, while Giles only bought a 6-inch tuna on white bread from Subway. Could Shumate have a possible shopping addiction? Is best friend Giles helping her through it? Bump watch alert for Giles: either she's pregnant or just eats too damn much. A source close to the BFFs say the night before they stayed up and watched bad movies: Teaching Mrs. Tingle and Showgirls. The source says the two friends have been since quoting Showgirls ("It's a Ver-sice") and having sexy seizures.

Michael Pung was spotted at Blockbuster Video in Statesboro with lady friend Chelsea. Pung has cut his hair and it looks hot.

Fashion Police:

Anna Giles was looking tired and just plain yucky in her Blockbuster uniform Saturday night.

2:24pm: so i'm still in ani difranco 101
Who are you now
And who were you then
That you thought somehow
You could just pretend
That you could figure it all out
The mathematics of regret
So it takes two beers to remember now
And five to forget
That I loved you so
Yeah, I loved you, so what

is it kinda sad that i've just recently fallen in love with ani and realized her true greatness? little slow on the uptake, huh, anna?

if i had HALF of that woman's writing talent...


i almost wish chevy would break up with me so i could listen to sad ani and have a good cry and eat lots of chocolate. too bad i have to be happy and work out.

11:58am: 'Crocodile Hunter' Dies Doing What He Loved
CAIRNS, Australia (AP) - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous bard on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.

Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said.

Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program "Crocodile Hunter." First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international celebrity.

He rode his image into a feature film, 2002's "The Crocodile Hunters: Collision Course" and developed the wildlife park that his parents opened, Australia Zoo, into a major tourist attraction.

"The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told reporters in Cairns. "He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!"'

Prime Minister John Howard, who hand-picked Irwin to attend a gala barbecue to honor President Bush when he visited in 2003, said he was "shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death."

"It's a huge loss to Australia," Howard told reporters. "He was a wonderful character. He was a passionate environmentalist. He brought joy and entertainment and excitement to millions of people."

Irwin, who made a trademark of hovering dangerously close to untethered crocodiles and leaping on their backs, spoke in rapid-fire bursts with a thick Australian accent and was almost never seen without his uniform of khaki shorts and shirt and heavy boots.

His ebullience was infectious and Australian officials sought him out for photo opportunities and to promote Australia internationally.

Irwin's public image was dented, however, in 2004 when he caused an uproar by holding his infant son in one arm while feeding large crocodiles inside a zoo pen. Irwin claimed at the time there was no danger to the child, and authorities declined to charge Irwin with violating safety regulations.

Later that year, he was accused of getting too close to penguins, a seal and humpback whales in Antarctica while making a documentary. Irwin denied any wrongdoing, and an Australian Environment Department investigation recommended no action be taken against him.

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said.

News of Irwin's death spread quickly, and tributes flowed from all quarters of society.

At Australia Zoo at Beerwah, south Queensland, floral tributes were dropped at the entrance, where a huge fake crocodile gapes. Drivers honked their horns as they passed.

"Steve, from all God's creatures, thank you. Rest in peace," was written on a card with a bouquet of native flowers.

"We're all very shocked. I don't know what the zoo will do without him. He's done so much for us, the environment and it's a big loss," said Paula Kelly, a local resident and volunteer at the zoo, after dropping off a wreath at the gate.

Stainton said Irwin's American-born wife Terri, from Eugene, Ore., had been informed of his death, and had told their daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob, who will turn 3 in December.

The couple met when she went on vacation in Australia in 1991 and visited Irwin's Australia Zoo; they were married six months later. Sometimes referred to as the "Crocodile Huntress," she costarred on her husband's television show and in his 2002 movie.

11:20pm: i finally saw full metal jacket tonight, and boy, is it depressing!



i am proud to be best friends with esther "it's a fucking job, man! don't be doing that shiiit!!" gringer, megan "it's ridiculous!" shumate, portia malia kuualoha meli "I'M A WHORE! I CHEATED ON YOUR FATHER!" imle, and heidi "blame it on the dog" pagelkopf.